


KenManThology

by lamanlupa



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, College, Comedy, Coming of Age, Friends With Benefits, Friendship, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-19 16:32:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11901711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamanlupa/pseuds/lamanlupa
Summary: Kozume Kenma goes to university and becomes a ho.His friend, seasoned ho advocate Hinata Shouyou, plays cheerleader.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first smut. *hides in a corner*
> 
> I'll add more tags as the story progresses. Also, I need to say that I imagine this happening when all characters are of legal age.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few days later, as Kenma was walking across the university quadrangle the first week back to school, he saw _him_. The one with the movie star-gorgeous face, impressive height, perfect body (at least what he could see of it). He’d seen this guy around before and had instantly been taken to him. Today was no different, and Kenma soon found himself getting turned on, in public and under the sunlight of high noon. Uh-oh. The front of his pants were already tenting and out back his hole started to… tingle. _Oh my god!_ Kenma thought. _That thing tingles??_

**Prologue: Shouyou**

 

“Our mixed cum is starting to drip on your sheets.”

“Shouyou! Will you stop saying embarrassing things like that? Jeez.”

“Kenma, we just jerked each other off and you’re embarrassed about what I’m _saying_? We haven’t even wiped anything clean.”

Kenma gave a small chuckle. It was true. They were in his room, where everything was clean—except the two of them. “Well… yeah. You seem so okay with it.”

“It’s just a bit of mutual masturbation, K. We didn’t, like, do anything extreme like double fis—”

“NO! Nope. Shut up!”

Shouyou laughed. He’d always thought that teasing Kenma was way too easy. “But seriously. Listen to me, K. Freshman year is when you lose your virginity.”

“I know. And I want to. Not because of peer pressure or anything. I really… just want to feel physical intimacy, you know?”

“I hear ya, fam,” Shoyou replied. He snuggled in closer and put his arm around Kenma.

“I don’t know what ‘fam’ means but don’t call me that. Also, stop getting lube on my shoulder.”

Shouyou guffawed.

“Well, this has sufficiently been mortifying,” Kenma quipped.

“Hey, does this…  Do I disgust you?” Shouyou asked, voice tinged with a sudden sadness.  

“Shouyou… no. No! Absolutely not. This was fun,” said Kenma, patting him on the thigh and getting the sunshine kid to smile again. “I want to thank you, actually, for trying this crazy thing out with me. Now I'm a little less nervous about doing stuff with other guys. I really, really appreciate it. Though I think this should be our first and last time, yeah?”

“Haha! Agreed,” Shouyou replied, grabbing the box of Kleenex on Kenma’s nightstand and wiping himself off. He handed it over to Kenma, who did the same.

“At any rate we don't want Kageyama to get jealous. Everyone knows he’s head over heels for you,” Kenma declared, a slight teasing lilt in his voice.

At which Shouyou’s face positively turned _red_. “WHAT?!? He is not! We’re just… just friends.”

“Uh-huh.”

“We are. Volleyball rivals and friends.”

“Have you done… this,” Kenma asked, gesturing down to their nakedness, “with him?”

Shouyou hesitated. “Um, yeah? A couple of times?” he admitted, looking away. “The very first time he actually, erm… Don’t know how to say this. He came as soon as I palmed him through his shorts.”

Kenma chuckled and raised his eyebrows, but (seeing that his friend could not possibly turn redder than he already was) stopped asking questions. “Friends with benefits, then.”

“That’s it. Friends with benefits,” Shouyou confirmed, adding quickly, “Which is good! Which is exactly how I want things to stay. Neither of us want it to be anything more. Mm-hmm.”

Kenma did not believe this for one second, but felt that today was not the day to nose around. “How is he in bed, anyway? Is his handjob _invincible_ too? And if you say, ‘it's like gwaaaaah!’ I’m bolting out of here.”

“Hmm,” Shouyou replied, considering. “Then I say nothing.”

They both giggled. Talking about sex was fun.

A few days later, as Kenma was walking across the university quadrangle the first week back to school, he saw _him_. The one with the movie star-gorgeous face, impressive height, perfect body (at least what he could see of it). He’d seen this guy around before and had instantly been taken to him. Today was no different, and Kenma soon found himself getting turned on, in public and under the sunlight of high noon. Uh-oh. The front of his pants were already tenting and out back his hole started to… tingle. _Oh my god!_ Kenma thought. _That thing tingles??_ He covered his crotch with a large notebook and kept walking.

What was different today was that Prince Charming seemed to be taking every turn that Kenma was about to make to his next class, making him look suspiciously like a stalker. Finally his quarry went into the exact classroom Kenma was headed for. He felt a mini-heart attack commence. Quickly he fished for the phone in his pocket.

 

_kenma_

Oi, Shouyou. I know who I’m going to sex for real.

 

_shouyou_

hahaha i dont think u say it like that!!! … can u? and who??

 

_shouyou_

OMG TELL MEEEEEEEEE

 

_shouyou_

DONT MAKE ME WAIT IM DYING

 

_kenma_

Tall guy, looks dangerous. Dangerously handsome. He’s in my French 101. He’s wearing a varsity jacket so I’m guessing an athlete? I think his name is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, that really is the end of Ch 1! Sorry, heh heh. But I promise that the next installment is coming/cumming soon!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma was, admittedly, shocked by this boast. . . . _I mean, we haven't even gotten to_ D'où êtes-vous? _(Where are you from?) yet_ , he thought. But he reasoned that if he turned him down twice in a row, the third ask may never come (and this had been designated as a weekend of debauchery). No turning back now. Pulse quickening, he steeled his nerves and spoke. 
> 
> “You wanna show me your bedroom?”

_shouyou_

OMG TELL MEEEEEEEEE

 

_shouyou_

DONT MAKE ME WAIT IM DYING

 

_kenma_

Tall guy, looks dangerous. Dangerously handsome. He’s in my French 101. He’s wearing a varsity jacket so I’m guessing an athlete? I think his name is

  


**Ushiwaka**

 

 

“How exactly are you going to pull this off, Kenma? Do you even know this Ushijima Wakatoshi character? God, he looks stern,” Shouyou asked as he scrolled through the guy's social media. They were on their only common lunch break during the week and no time was to be wasted.

“Um, I do now. He talked to me yesterday,” Kenma whispered.

“What, really? He just came up and talked to you?” Shouyou asked.

“Yeah. Said he was gonna fuck me senseless,” Kenma replied, face completely deadpan.

“Motherf—”

“Just kidding, just kidding,” Kenma said, expression decidedly not kidding.

“Jesus, K. We've got to work on your joking face,” Shouyou replied as his heart tried to go back to its normal rate. “No, really, what happened?”

“I sat behind him in class. He turned around and asked if I had a pencil he could borrow. I did, and we just started talking.”

“Oh, is that right? And are you going to his apartment on Saturday to study French?”

“We are, actually! How did you guess?”

“Have you been watching _Mean Girls_ again, K? I know it’s your favorite, but come on! You are not Cady Heron and this dude is not Aaron Samuels.”

“No, fuck, it seriously happened like that, Shouyou. I swear! Also, _Mean Girls_ was a Lohan masterpiece. That stays between us, by the way.”

“Uggh. It’s so cliché. It’s so rom-com I’m about to vomit. But continue. What's your plan, just simply jump his bones at the first chance?” asked Shouyou.

Kenma did not know the answer to this. On the one hand they could honestly just start on the homework like exemplary students. But the more he daydreamed about Ushiwaka and his intense eyes and the way he smelled of man-musk, the less he thought of French verbs and more of french kisses. _Yep_ , he thought, _it's settled_. He was going to get his first real taste of worldly pleasures this weekend.

Whether Saturday came too slowly or too quickly Kenma was still deciding as he and Ushiwaka sat facing each other, French language textbooks open on Chapter 1 (greetings). Ushiwaka’s flat was gorgeous: spacious and tastefully appointed with expensive-looking furniture. On a glass shelf sat numerous medals and trophies and a purple volleyball jersey that said _Shiratorizawa_. So. Prince Charming really did seem to be a prince.

“Bonjour,” Ushiwaka started.

“Erm… Bonjour, Ushijima-san!” Kenma quickly replied, caught by surprise. “Comment allez-vous?”

“Je pense que vous êtes mignon,” Ushiwaka said, ignoring his question, eyes ardent as a kindling fire.

Kenma blushed profusely. His French was good enough to know that this stranger/hunk was calling him cute, to his face, and within ten minutes of coming in. He struggled to compose himself and changed the subject.

“You played volleyball in high school? So many awards! Were you… What's it called—oh!—the ace?” Kenma babbled nervously.

“Yes. I was. You know what else?” countered Ushiwaka.

“What?”

“I'm an ace in bed too.”

Kenma was, admittedly, shocked by this boast. He did not imagine that Ushiwaka would be so forward. _I mean, we haven't even gotten to_ D'où êtes-vous? _(Where are you from?) yet_ , he thought. But he reasoned that if he turned him down twice in a row, the third ask may never come (and this had been designated as a weekend of debauchery). No turning back now. Pulse quickening, he steeled his nerves and spoke.

“You wanna show me your bedroom?”

Ushiwaka smirked, obviously pleased with himself.

“My room? No need. This sofa should do, no?” he replied, gesturing to a big couch near them that looked both sturdy and comfortable—criteria Kenma felt should be met considering what they're planning to do on it. “I have a feeling you're not quite as fragile as you look. Am I wrong?”

Kenma almost imperceptibly shook his head.

Ushiwaka nodded, rose and took Kenma’s arm, and sat him on the sofa. Slowly, teasingly, the taller man undressed himself, all the while checking out his body on the mirror behind them. Which Kenma would've minded had he not been absolutely distracted by the Japanese version of Michaelangelo’s David who, in just a few moments, stood 100% naked in front of him.

Ushiwaka’s body was nothing short of perfect. Like polished marble. Sculpted chest with a smattering of soft black fur. Large nipples showing manifest arousal. Thick, meaty biceps. Trim waist and washboard abs. Legs that were most definitely not skipped at the gym. However, emphatically _unlike_ the aforementioned Florentine sculpture, Ushiwaka had a… Um… A…

(Oh, how does one say it without being crass?)

“A huge penis,” Kenma finished the thought, aloud—unnecessarily loud. He blushed at his own audacity.

“Why, thank you, Kozume-san,” beamed Ushiwaka. It was the first time that Kenma saw him smile, and it was frightfully similar to Kageyama’s. That is, pretty fucking creepy. Ushiwaka grabbed his mammoth hard-on and pointed the glistening head of it towards Kenma.

“I think he likes you too. Wanna touch?”

Kenma slowly reached over and took the proffered treat. He slid his palm up and down its marvelous length. He could hardly wrap his hand around Ushiwaka’s girth—that fact alone should've stopped him from doing what he did next. Alas, carnal desires won: he brought his head forward and passionately took premium Shiratoriza-wang into his mouth.

Now, because of a serious case of Resting Bitch FaceTM people typically think that Kenma is a dispassionate person. Only his closest friends know that, in anything he does, he was not likely to give up until he had mastered it. This was no different. He licked and lapped and sucked and slurped. At some point he had nearly half of it down. He really was trying his best to get more of Ushiwaka’s cock into his mouth, but he was a tiny person with a proportionally tiny mouth. He finally had to stop for a breather.

“I give up,” Kenma sighed. “It's too big.”

“Come on, you can do it.”

“I can't! My jaws are so tired. Sorry,” Kenma pouted.

Ushiwaka laughed. “Hmm. Well, I can't say it’s the first time this has happened. Let's try something else? Take your clothes off.”

Kenma started to do so, but apparently he was much too slow for his bedfellow. Ushiwaka swiftly slid Kenma’s shirt off his torso, in two quick motions slipped off his socks (shoes having been left earlier by the _genkan_ ), and even more rapidly undid his belt and chucked his jeans off. Kenma stood in a stranger’s living room nearly naked, in his red boxer briefs with cute kitten patterns, abashed but embarrassment not quite enough to kill his obvious boner.

Ushiwaka turned him around slowly, pausing to admire the curve of his butt, and wolf-whistled. Kenma quickly turned as red as his underwear. “Damn, Kozume-san,” Ushiwaka said. “You should go without clothes more often.”

He laid Kenma on the sofa and propped himself up on his forearms above the smaller man. Kenma cradled Ushiwaka’s face in his soft hands, brought it closer to his face, and tilted his lips up. Ushiwaka slowly leaned in as Kenma closed his eyes, ready.

Disappointment welled up in Kenma’s chest as he felt Ushiwaka’s lips graze his neck instead.

“Sorry, babe. I don't kiss during hookups,” Ushiwaka murmured into his skin as he planted kisses along Kenma’s collarbone. Kenma was about to complain, but the sight of Ushiwaka wetting his fingers with spit, and bringing the now-slippery digits close to his entrance blocked his words. He felt foreign fingers graze his hole and immediately clenched.

“Relax,” came the command.

He followed, instinctively pushing against the invading digit, and Ushiwaka’s middle finger entered him with a little discomfort but no pain. He genuinely relaxed as the finger was worked inside him first shallowly, then deeply, side to side, around and around, jabbing at times, curling a tad upward, poking hard, and—

BOOM.

The world suddenly went hot-white with a pleasure he had never known. It was a strange feeling, really, a mixture of dull aches and unmistakable heaven that fought each other for dominance inside him. He heard himself moan and whimper and blurt unpermitted curses from his usually quiet mouth. He opened his eyes and saw Ushiwaka staring with his signature smug grin.

“Good?”

“Uh-huh—good. Very good.”

Kenma would’ve thought that Ushiwaka was just playing with him, except a quick glance down south revealed that his partner’s huge tool was granite-hard, harder than ever before, and dripping man-juice at an alarming rate. He was undone too. Kenma smiled.

“Do it, Ushijima-san.”

“So polite.”

“Do it, please.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Fuck, yes.”

The world record for speed condom wearing was broken that day. Ushiwaka roughly positioned Kenma missionary-style, with a force maybe a tad stronger than was necessary, and the effort jerked the sofa they were currently on and banged the nearby desk. A book fell and randomly opened to Chapter 7 (verb conjugation). Kenma had to stifle a laugh as he realized that varsity boy was currently about to conjugate him in the you-know-where. He felt something hard knock-knock-knockin’ on heaven's door; nervously, he nodded.

Ushiwaka drove forward into Kenma, slowly at first, and then with more conviction. Kenma pushed both hands into Ushiwaka’s chest.

“W-wait. It hurts a bit. Go slowly?”

Ushiwaka nodded, sweat dripping from his forehead onto Kenma’s chest. He withdrew from inside Kenma, keeping the tip in, and slowly pistoned in and out of the younger man, drilling in a circular motion while rolling his hips. Every thrust felt like a deliberate attack on Kenma’s prostate. Pretty soon he was mewling. Ushiwaka took this as a signal that he can fuck harder. On the next thrust he shoved in an extra two inches.

Kenma was unprepared for this and suddenly clenched inside. Hard. Very hard.

Ushiwaka gasped. “Wait! Fuck—don’t. I’m so close. Fuck. Aww, fuck,” he swore, suddenly holding onto Kenma tight and shuddering.

At that moment Kenma realized what had happened: Ushiwaka was indisputably cumming inside him. _Fuck!_ he thought, not knowing for sure whether the proper reaction was satisfaction or shame or laughter. He settled for a sinful hybrid of the three. Meanwhile Ushiwaka, spent, slowly slid out of him, muttering an almost inaudible apology.

Kenma was left hanging and unsatisfied but it was way too awkward to continue, so they merely dressed in uncomfortable silence. As soon as he felt somewhat put together, he gathered his things and made to leave. Ushiwaka opened the door for him as he stepped over the threshold and, before he could stop it, Kenma found himself bowing deeply.

“Thank you, Ushijima-san.”

“R-right. See you in class, dude,” an embarrassed Ushiwaka hastily replied, looking anywhere but at Kenma.

And just like that the door was slamming on Kenma faster you could say _Merci beaucoup!_ Kenma didn’t know it yet at the time, but that was the last he’ll see of Ushiwaka in a little while. He never showed up in French class again.

Shouyou found Kenma a half-hour later on his walk of shame and immediately knew that things did not go quite as well as planned. He caught up quickly.

“Kenma, what the fuck happened? Did the fuck happen?”

“Oh. Hey, Shouyou. I think so?”

“How are you unsure?” Shouyou asked, incredulous.

“I don't know. We did. Fuck, I mean. But he…,” Kenma pulled him to the side, out of hearing range of other people, “he sort of came too early?”

“Ooh. Never thought Ushijima-san would be a one-minute man. Was it a blowjob? A handjob?”

“No, silly. Inside me.”

“Inside you, for realzies? Oh my god. You went all the way?”

“Well, yeah. That's what I was there for.”

“Damn, kid. You a ho!” Shouyou exclaimed.

“Shh! We’re in public, dumbass.”

“Ho,” Shuoyou whispered, sniggering.

“I know. I blame you for _everything_.”

“Wait, why am I being—” Shouyou started to complain, but thought better of it. “You know what, you’re right. Good job, Sho-chan!” he exclaimed, patting himself on the back as they both doubled over with laughter. “But seriously. It was that bad, huh?”

“It wasn't bad. It was sort of good, actually. It just wasn't what I was expecting, you know? I was so turned on, and he was too, and he's so hot—god, Shouyou, he was sooo hot!”

He paused.

“But I just didn't enjoy it as much as I thought it would,” Kenma continued, adding swiftly, “I mean, it felt good! I just was hoping for _great_ , I guess? The rock-my-world kind of sex. Is something wrong with me?”

“No. Of course not. If there's no chemistry, then that’s that. Not your fault at all. There's nothing to be done about it,” Shouyou said, putting his arm around Kenma’s shoulders and comforting him. “Except move on to the next guy. Hey, you should try this new gay hookup app. So many hot guys on there!”

“Yeah? Hotter than Kageyama?”

Shouyou glared at him with cold murder in his eyes.

A few hours later at his friend's behest Kenma was perusing Blendr’s grid of overly filtered selfies and faceless torsos. His attention was caught by a sexy skinhead dude wearing big sunglasses. He seemed rather intense and, well, horny: a walking erection. A quick scroll through his pictures told Kenma that this dude was allergic to wearing shirts. Which was just fine, as he was all lean muscle, libido, and boiling, bubbling testosterone.

“You're next,” Kenma said aloud to himself, already thinking of the next fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never before have I had to think of so many synonyms for “penis.” Thanks, AO3! Haha
> 
> I've pretty much set the characters for this story, but suggestions on what you'd like to read are very much welcome! As are any comments. Hit me up on [Tumblr](https://lamanlupa.tumblr.com/)


End file.
